Here again…

Why does it all of a sudden get to much? I can feel myself spiralling again. Down further and further, the light quickly fading away. How do I get out of this feeling? There’s no reason for me to feel this way. Why cant I be enough? Why does my brain say I am not enough for myself? Is it something I did to be felt these cards? Im trying to fight it, the moments where it gets too dark. But its impossible to fight it when you don’t want to. When getting dressed and taking a shower seems to hard. I’m watching my world slip by, another day goes of accomplishing so little. This is my youth a time to be really alive but all I want to do is start again. Its frustrating, “get up, get up, its not that hard.” But I feel like the weight of the world is pinning me down. Why cant I escape this?